What is the Prayer of Jabez? ..... What should it mean to me?

What should it mean to me?

As so much has already been said about the book by Dr. Bruce Wilkinson, it is worth reading and studying the prayer itself as found in the Bible, to understand what God means for us to learn from this relatively obscure story. From this, we will see with what motivation Jabez might have prayed his prayer and how we can apply that to ourselves today.

⁹ Now Jabez was more honorable than his brothers, and his mother called his name Jabez, saying, "Because I bore him in pain." ¹⁰ And Jabez called on the God of Israel saying, "Oh, that You would bless me indeed, and enlarge my territory, that Your hand would be with me, and that You would keep me from evil, that I may not cause pain!" So God granted him what he requested.

Background
Many have noted this story in the Bible is obscure. There is good reason for believing this, for it occupies all of two verses in the Old Testament, or only seventy words in the New King James translation. Moreover, these two verses occur in the middle of a section which recounts numerous genealogies and lineages of the people of Israel. While Jabez' brief account falls in the section describing the line of Judah (one of the twelve sons of Israel aka Jacob, grandson of Abraham), no mention is made describing Jabez' connection to the family. The seeming lack of coherence is typical of this entire portion of the first book of Chronicles which covers nine chapters (unlike similar accounts as in the books of Genesis, Numbers or Joshua).

The first verse describes Jabez in light of his family. The second verse contains his prayer and the fact that God answers it. Nothing else is known about Jabez, and the details of how God blessed him are not there.

What we can see clearly is a correlation between Jabez' life and what he prayed in earnest. It is recorded that Jabez caused his mother pain in childbirth. What other pain he caused her and his family is not known. But the impact of that pain was memorialized forever in the name he received from her, "Jabez", meaning "he makes sorrowful" or "he will cause pain". His mother would not have given him such a disgraceful name had he not actually caused such memorable pain to her.

With this in mind, we can confidently say that Jabez himself was in some condition of personal inner pain and woeful need prior to making his prayer. Now let's look at the prayer itself. Jabez asks for five things. He asks:

• that You would bless me indeed
• enlarge my territory (coast)
• that Your hand would be with me
• that you keep me from evil
• that I may not cause pain (that it may not grieve me)

(King James comparison in parentheses)

From comments made by fans of Dr. Wilkinson's book, it would seem that people are most familiar with the first two requests, to be blessed and to have one's territory or borders increased. The other three requests are virtually unknown as being part of Jabez' prayer. However, the flow of thought and comprehension in ancient Hebrew writing should never encourage us in our western mindset to extract the desirable things that appeal to us while ignoring the rest of the text. We must take this prayer and the state of Jabez' life as a whole to learn its meaning.

A Single Thought
Jabez did not pray one prayer with five prayer points. That is what we're tempted to read from a purely western, analytical point of view. Jabez prayed one prayer with one unifying meaning. He was concerned for the intense pain he had caused, which brought him the dishonor he was to carry his whole life long—note that his name never was changed, as had happened for some when God changed their fortunes. He wanted his life of pain and dishonor to change. Thus his prayer was for God to bless and shape his life in such a way that he might not bring any more dishonor to his own name or his family. All parts of his prayer necessarily fit together.

Part of what that meant for Jabez was staying away from evil. How many of us pray that regularly in our prayers? Perhaps only if one prays the Lord's prayer everyday, yet that was a key in what he asked. For he did not want anymore to grieve (cause pain to) either himself or others. He knew there was no way he could ever pull this off himself, for the stigma of his name seemed to be so forcefully against him. (In the Old Testament, they really seem to know how to pick names, for just about every Old Testament personality we know well lives up to his or her name, including Jabez). In view of this, he specifically asks for God's hand to be with him.

Thus we can see a motive behind Jabez' prayer. He had good reason to ask for what he asked for, he was not merely seeking a special blessing from God. God had already blessed his people greatly, according to the promise he made to his forefather Abraham (see Genesis 12:1-3 and 17:1-8). He was asking for the one thing that wise king Solomon said was the most valuable thing anyone could want, a good name. Jabez needed his name to be cleared.

¹ A good name is to be chosen rather than great riches... (Proverbs 22:1)

We know that God answered his prayer. We don't know in what measure his territory was enlarged. We don't know any specifics about how God blessed him. But we do know that Jabez gained for himself a solid reputation of honor, so much so that he was described as being more honorable than any in his family—we don't even know his father's name. Honor was most notably the way in which God blessed him.

Seen as one cohesive body of thought and motive, his prayer is well balanced. He was not selfish nor was he self-centeredly seeking to go beyond what he already had, or else God would not have honored him. Rather, he had a goal to change, meaning personal, internal change, and God proved his desire to be blameless.

Consequences for Prayer
In light of responses to Dr. Wilkinson's book on the prayer of Jabez, we must today examine our own motives for asking God's blessing or expansion of our holdings. In this, the standard has already been set by the Lord Jesus Christ:

³¹ "Therefore do not worry, saying, "What shall we eat?' or "What shall we drink?' or "What shall we wear?' ³² For after all these things the Gentiles seek. For your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. ³³ But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you. (Matthew 6:31-33)

If the honor, reputation and advancement of God's kingdom are what we truly seek after, we should be confident God will hear our prayer and honor it. If however we are honestly seeking after personal gain with no thought or inner desire for passing the blessing on to our family, neighborhood, community, nation or world, even to those whom we esteem as undeserving, then our pursuit is selfish and vain.

Does this mean we should never seek blessing from God, be it spiritual, financial, material, relational, mental or emotional? No, rather we must carefully discern with what motives we are asking.

If God honors our prayer, and we are then unwilling to share what He has given us, we risk the curse of judgment and spoilage. What we ask for becomes a craving or obsession, completely directed toward self. Once we get what we beg for and then fail to share its merits and blessings, then we risk punishment. This concept was illustrated by a group of lepers, living in a city under siege, who were so hungry from starvation during war that they decided to surrender to the enemy in the hopes of getting food. Instead, they discovered the enemy camp totally deserted, which meant all the food left behind was theirs for the eating.

⁸ And when these lepers came to the outskirts of the camp, they went into one tent and ate and drank, and carried from it silver and gold and clothing, and went and hid them; then they came back and entered another tent, and carried some from there also, and went and hid it. ⁹ Then they said to one another, "We are not doing right. This day is a day of good news, and we remain silent. If we wait until morning light, some punishment will come upon us. Now therefore, come, let us go and tell the king's household." (2 Kings 7:8-9)

Thus, we must set our minds to freely sharing whatever blessings God bestows upon us, especially if it is in answer to a prayer like the prayer of Jabez. That also means sharing with God, otherwise known as giving Him our tithes and offerings.

We should also not pray this prayer or any similar blessing prayer as an incantation or mantra. It is not a prayer that we should pray day after day, word for word. Jesus spoke against such practice when He said:

⁷ And when you pray, do not use vain repetitions as the heathen do. For they think that they will be heard for their many words. ⁸ "Therefore do not be like them. For your Father knows the things you have need of before you ask Him. (Matthew 6:7-8)

The Prayer of Jabez Today
Our modern, western lifestyle presents a striking and ugly contrast to the humility and desire for honor found in the true-life story of Jabez. It is a danger that people exposed to the book about the prayer of Jabez would think or pray "God, bless me and enlarge my territory", imagining all sorts of self-fulfilling, self-gratifying rewards for having prayed. It is much like when one is in the process of paying for a lottery ticket, or like the sales pitches used to entice people into investing in leveraged marketing programs—one is encouraged to wildly, creatively imagine and ponder, "What will I do with all the wealth I gain when I ...".

Before we ask God for one more thing for ourselves, even if our request is honorable and pure, let us first thank God for the wealth of things and circumstances He has already showered us with. Next, let us remember and pray for others, especially for our enemies and for those who are truly needy, overlooked and neglected.

Finally, let us take time to examine our own motives for wanting or desiring that thing or outcome we're about to ask for. Are we prepared to share the blessing if God indeed blesses? Are we going to be gracious in our response if God tells us "no"? Or are we likely to throw a tantrum or remove our trust from God when the increase fails to come through? Do we really want God's presence, or do we only want His presents (gifts)? Are we even thankful for what we do already have? Are we prepared to thank God spontaneously and wholeheartedly when He answers us with a blessing?

If our motives are anything but pure, we should change our whole strategy by switching to this prayer language instead:

¹⁰ Your kingdom come.
     Your will be done
      On earth as it is in heaven.
        ^{...(Matthew 6:10 from the Lord's Prayer)}

^42b "...nevertheless not My will, but Yours, be done." (Luke 22:42 as Jesus was about to face the cross on which He died)

Today, we are ever seeking after more pleasure, wealth, money, things, time, experiences, comfort, less commitment, less hassle, more security, more value added, more channels to watch, more flavors to choose from, and so on. Yet few experiences in this life rival being in God's awesome presence in prayer. God will truly bless us beyond measure when we earnestly set our hearts on seeking after honor, righteousness, justice and glory for His name and His reputation. That is where our focus needs to be in the first place.

It's something we often don't have straight.